do people bully?
is an obsessive/compulsive, addictive habit. The bully has an
uncontrollable urge to attack other people and to make other people feel
“less than.” The bully�s hallmark is domination over
others. She will not only bully her coworkers, she will bully the
hotel desk clerk, the waitress, and any receptionist that is unfortunate
enough to cross her path.
do bullies want?
most common objective of the bully is to gain power, control and
domination over someone else. It�s the only way he can feel okay
about himself. Most bullies are uncomfortable in their own skin. He has
difficulty spending time with himself. He needs to have someone to put
down and to brow-beat so that he can feel okay. Only by making
someone else feel bad, can he feel good.
the bully finds a coworker that he cannot control and dominate, he
starts working to eliminate them. Unfortunately, once he has actually
eliminated his target, it usually takes only a matter of days or weeks
before he selects a new one, and the process starts all over again.
bullies go from target to target throughout their lives,
causing misery from one person to another. They may start as early as
elementary school and continue right on into adulthood carrying their
bully tactics into the workplace.
CONTROL FREAK BULLY
control freak bully is driven by a compulsive need to be right
and to have things done her way. She cannot bear to stand by and watch
someone do things any other way but her own. She is convinced that her
way is the only way, and she will become irate and combative if
anyone dares to do things otherwise.
person may have once seemed like a normal, non-threatening,
easy-to-get-along-with employee. Then, something happened. He got
some small promotion or added authority and has become “power
drunk.” He is obsessed with gaining more power and he
constantly entertains thoughts of moving further up the ladder of
leadership. He has begun to see himself as a �wheeler-dealer,”
or a “mover and shaker.” Visions of Donald Trump
dance in his head.
pressurized bully is a temporary bully. This person does not normally
have a bullying personality. She has become stressed-out,
whether from the job or from pressures at home. She loses control and
lashes out at others with hurtful comments or unnecessary badgering.
She has temporarily lost the skills to separate her stressful feelings
from her social interactions with other people. She can be brought
back on track.
SUBSTANCE ABUSING BULLY
bully who is addicted to alcohol or drugs is a loose cannon. This may
be the most dangerous type of bully, because he is not in control of
his senses. His addiction has control over him. He is bullying,
not to hide his feelings of inadequacy, but to hide his habit. He�ll
say or do anything to cover up the real problem. Watch for the red
flags of substance abuse with this type. A professional intervention
may be necessary.