Even More Desirable Than Sex

31 October, 2010

Surfing excellent waves is always more pleasurable than just doing nothing… in fact, it’s more enjoyable than just about anything I can imagine. There’s one element of surfing, on the other hand, that is even more than just entertainment… it is, in reality, very much comparable to having sex, or even being born all over again. That most fabulous of sensations is termed “getting barrelled”, and if you consult any long-time, well-traveled surfer, they’ll pretty much all declare precisely the same thing – there is absolutely nothing they would prefer to do than get into a long, deep tube, entirely disappearing from the beachgoer’s view, and then speed out of the barrell, back again into daylight and with the most extraordinary feeling, a sensation as if they’ve just entered a wormhole into another universe and returned – and in a way, that’s exactly what happens…

Most surfers will agree that when you’re in the tube, time stretches. It may possibly be a contradiction to scientific laws, but maybe some day a physicist might find this notion to be authentic, even for just a split second.

At any rate, the following is a description of what in my opinion is to indeed be in the zone: being in a tube, with the smooth-looking wave hitting the water before the nose of your surfboard, and focusing so intently that it’s extremely hard to express. Some may describe it as being “tunnel vision,” but I don’t believe that expression is fitting.

When you emerge cleanly, perhaps you will get a few choice turns, or perhaps just make a turn and head up and over the back of the wave with a funny smile. Whatever way it’s performed, you will never put aside any detail of a great barrell.

You can find the very best tubes on the most desirable waves. For barrells, they are reefbreaks and pointbreaks. With reefbreaks, there are very big barrells. They are so huge that you could fit a big vehicle in them. In addition, they provide the necessary quantity of danger for your adrenaline level to go up. When you’re in a big tube, you can look around a tiny bit and appreciate the view. Some of the surfers who are very good look backwards. Pointbreaks have very long tubes. They’re so long that you can actually put aside that hard concentration a little and play around in the tube.

The sensation that a person feels when coming out of a barrell can be described in 2 different ways, which are the following:

  • Being born again.
  • Making love.

The 1st one is because you are in the ocean’s womb, and you come out into the daylight. Nonetheless, when you do this, you aren’t weeping. You are yelling with joy, instead. Another difference is that nobody hits you. I will explain the 2nd one without being overly illustrative. You see a wave that you like, take off and ride in expectancy of pulling into an amazing barrel, then you get as deep as possible, focusing on absolutely nothing else but body and mind. You ride the tube and ignore time. Then, when you’re pulling out of the barrell, you might emerge from the tube in a spew of whitewater.

Excuse me now while I mop my brow…

My objective with this description is not to upset you. A Surfer Magazine poll demonstrated that over half the surfers feel that the only thing there is in the world that is better than sexual intercourse is riding the tube. I now conclude this article, hoping that I’ve left you with the idea of learning the superb adventure of getting tubed. This activity is very much like riding a bicycle. You’ll never forget your first time, and you’ll get better the more you practice.

July 28 2010 07:49 am | Uncategorized

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