In the center of a session the other day I had an awesome realization. I was asked to keep in mind a relationship I had with something in the last week that I thought of as the most fitting relationship, and to note of what it was about that relationship that made it great.
A handful of men in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To each of these men, these items felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with these people or objects was beneficial and easy to continue on.
When my turn came to decide on my ideal relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has very casual needs, and it is the ultimate ego-boost for me when I get home at night and I am greeted in such an overjoyed fashion. I don’t know of inspite of how my day has been. I call this unconditional love.
So what is unconditional love?
Unconditional love is the type of love that comes with no conditions. It is the kind of love that you should have for your partner when the romantic, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you will make the shift to “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner irrespective of the knowledge that they are not perfect. You know your partner has faults, you realize that your partner is not perfect. You bear in mind your wife or husband makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. You still love them. This is unconditional love.
The exact same passes on to you however in comparing your spouses faults, you acknowledge that you are the same and that you have faults. You are not perfect. You understand you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to get over the faults and imperfections that people have.
So what do you think of this then? Should we all go out and get pets to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there is a lesson to be learnt here.
We all clutter our lives with challenges, and there is the temptation to let our issues rule our lives.
But if you are eager about saving your marriage you need to put the clutter to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It is okay to have faults and make mistakes and love will conquer them all.
Have a think about unconditional love and how you can apply this realization to your relationship.
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December 21 2010 03:54 pm | Uncategorized